Jeremy Clarkson suffers cow attack on Chipping Norton farm

Jeremy Clarkson has revealed that he had his testicles “smashed” by a cow.

The 61-year-old recently splashed £175,000 on a barn to house his animals over the winter months at his farm in Chipping Norton, the backdrop of the Amazon Prime series Clarkson’s Farm.

Whilst trying to move the cattle into their new home, the former Top Gear host was subjected to quite the attack, all during the downpour of Storm Barra.

In his column for The Sunday Times, he wrote: “I had a plastic bag full of cow treats, which I rattled to let the beasts know that food was in the offing, but as they’re pasture-fed, they had no interest in my nutty snacks. One of them, though, did have an interest in killing me.

“It’s said a cow cannot kick backwards but I can testify to the fact that this isn’t true. A cow can kick in any direction. They are like Bruce Lee, only more deadly and determined because, having failed to connect with her hoofs, she went for another tack — putting her head between my legs and then raising it smartly.

“This worked well and immediately I was on my knees in the mud with crossed eyes, trying to push the cow away. This, it turns out, is impossible. It’s like trying to push Westminster Abbey.”

He added: “I think this was the lowest point in my farming career to date. Being attacked by a cow while on my knees, in the mud, in a storm, with smashed testicles. And all so I can make beef for a restaurant that I probably won’t be allowed to open. I was very miserable.

“Happily, though, the attack cow eventually grew tired of trying to kill me and decided, for no reason that I could see, to walk calmly through the gate and on to the track. And the others quickly followed. I didn’t look much like Pete Duel or Ben Murphy at this point but I was at least doing successful cowboying.”

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